There is nothing wrong with pampering children , parents are just trying to create a comfortable living environment for their children. However, when parents satisfy their children's every request without any limits, it is easy to create a spoiled child who only knows how to give orders without being grateful.
Reasons for pampering children too much
It's not that parents want to pamper their children too much, but sometimes they just want to make up for past hurts. According to Amy Morin, psychotherapist, editor-in-chief of the website Verywell Mind and author of many best-selling books in the US: "Many parents feel happy when they can buy everything for their children. They believe that buying things for your children that you didn't have as a child is a wonderful thing.”
Many people believe that children enjoying luxurious vacations, lavish parties, the latest high-tech gadgets and designer shopping trips make for a wonderful childhood. In fact, on the contrary, if parents constantly provide privileges and money, children will lose the concept of limits, they will spend extremely wastefully and even show off when their parents refuse. deny your request.
Besides, some people pamper their children with a compensation mentality. With the pace of modern life and ever-increasing facilities, adults have become more and more confused. They have to work continuously to feed their families and give their children the best things. So there is less time to spend with children. Because they don't have time to spend with their children, many people choose to compensate them by giving them money and buying anything they like. Pampering your children too much like this will create a bad personality and is also a way to destroy a child's future.
What types of pampering should parents avoid?
When parents don't know how to deal with their children's behavioral problems, it's easy to choose indulgence to avoid conflict. For example, when a child cries because he can't go out, instead of explaining it to him, some people choose to give him a gift to stop him from making a fuss. This prevents children from learning how to control their emotions and cope with difficulties. This action will only destroy the goodness of a child.
Pampering your children is not limited to fulfilling all their needs, but includes many other actions as well. For example, providing too many toys, too many trips or too many electronic devices, because children also need adequate rest time as well as opportunities to learn how to entertain themselves.
In addition, parents should not solve everything for their baby because this can hinder their child's healthy development. Every time they encounter a problem, children will have space to think to find a solution. This process will promote independence and the ability to think outside the box. If parents completely interfere with their child's thinking and directly give results, it is also a harmful action for the child.
The consequences of pampering your children without limits
Over-indulging children can lead to many negative consequences. Here is a detailed analysis of why this is bad for child development:
Lack of Understanding of True Value
When parents pamper their children and provide them with everything they want, children easily confuse wants and needs, leading to the idea that happiness depends on material possessions. This can leave children frustrated at not getting what they want, leading to feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. As for parents, instead of being the closest people to their children, they become a mobile ATM machine.
The Misaligned Relationship Between Money and Self-Worth
If children have the right to buy everything they want and be treated like a king, they will confuse the message that a person's worth depends on the quantity and quality of their possessions. When children identify material things as symbols of status and personal value, they can develop an unhealthy competitive mindset, that everything can be solved with money.
Lack of Responsibility and Respect
When children have too many things without having to work hard to get them, they tend not to value anything. Children may not care when objects are broken or lost, leading to a lack of responsibility in taking care of their possessions.
Indiscipline
Overindulgence makes children believe they don't have to follow the rules. When rules are not applied consistently, children think they are outside the rules and see themselves as more special than others. This act of pampering children will lead to children considering themselves special in society and disregarding the law.
Difficulties in Adult Life
Research shows that children who are overly pampered often face many problems as adults. Children tend to feel dissatisfied, dissatisfied with life and have difficulty controlling themselves.
If you realize that you are overindulging your children , you need to start changing this behavior now. Re-establishing rules and limits, and refusing your child's requests when they are not necessary, will help your child learn to be independent and develop necessary life skills. During this change process, children may protest or have negative behaviors such as screaming or breaking things. However, if parents are persistent, patient and understanding, you can help children develop into responsible and confident adults.
